Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old Groucho Marx quotes, Groucho Marx sayings, and Groucho Marx proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.'
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.Groucho Marx
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.Groucho Marx
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.Groucho Marx
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.Groucho Marx
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.Groucho Marx
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.Groucho Marx
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There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.Groucho Marx
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.Groucho Marx
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.Groucho Marx
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.Groucho Marx
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.Groucho Marx
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A man is as young as the woman he feels.Groucho Marx
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.Groucho Marx
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I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.Groucho Marx
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.Groucho Marx
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When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'Groucho Marx
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.Groucho Marx
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Have a Great Monday!Groucho Marx
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I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.Groucho Marx
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.Groucho Marx
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When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'Groucho Marx
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.Groucho Marx
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.Groucho Marx
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?Groucho Marx
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.Groucho Marx
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She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.Groucho Marx
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.Groucho Marx
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Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?Groucho Marx
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.Groucho Marx
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.Groucho Marx