Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old drunk quotes, drunk sayings, and drunk proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald
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He that is a drunkard is qualified for all vice.Wellins Calcott
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Being half drunk is just another way of saying ‘your almost there.Jarrod Conway
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Drunkenness is temporary suicide.Bertrand Russell
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That which hath made them drunk hath made me bold.William Shakespeare
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I may be drunk, but in the morning i‘ll be sober and you‘ll still be ugly.Winston Churchill
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They who drink beer will think beer.Washington Irving
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I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.Raymond Chandler
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The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunkAlben William Barkley
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You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.Dean Martin
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Drunk forever dreaming you with or without youM.F. Moonzajer
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Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.Lord Byron
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.W.C. Fields
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A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.Samuel Johnson
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.George Burns
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A drunkard is like a whiskey-bottle, all neck and belly and no head.Austin O'Malley
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I liked you better when you were drunk .Tom Hardy
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Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.Ozzy Osbourne
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Nothing makes you forget everything as getting drunk of red wine.M.F. Moonzajer
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To dispute with a drunkard is to debate with an empty house.Publilius Syrus
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No nation is drunken where wine is cheap.Thomas Jefferson
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As long as I could pitch a little, no one cared that I was getting drunk.Don Newcombe
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Not every man remembers the name of the cow which supplied him with each drop of milk he has drunk.Shmuel Yosef Agnon
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Hit the bottom and get back up; or hit the bottle and stay down.Anthony Liccione
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He is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses though he be not drunk.Nora Ephron
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He that drinks fast, pays slow.Benjamin Franklin
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The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.Humphrey Bogart
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Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.Seneca The Younger
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I was always playing the hard-bitten drunk.Sally Kellerman
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A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.Steve Fergosi
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If you want to get drunk, get drunk with love.Debasish Mridha
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The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.William Butler Yeats
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy, I've done it a thousand times.W.C. Fields
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Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.Ernest Hemingway
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I love to drink martinis. Two at the very most. Three I'm under the table. Four I'm under my host.Dorothy Parker
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It's okay saying sorry, but when you are drunk you say what you really feel.Vidal Sassoon
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A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.Charlie Chaplin
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An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor.Dr. Alvan L. Barach
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Sometimes when you're drunk you can see better.Damien Hirst
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If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.Dean Martin
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Because of the high altitude, you get drunk really fast. So everyone's drunk all the time.Clea Duvall
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You don't quite know how drunk you are until all of a sudden you're on the floor.Gina Gershon
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An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.Charles Darwin
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When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.Jessica Nigri
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I drink to forget I drink.Joe E. Lewis
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Being sober a long time is a gift, but watching it touch lives around us is even sweeter.Gene O
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I know I should give up drinking; but I am not a quitterAnon
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I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.Winston Churchill
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I feel bad for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.Frank Sinatra
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.Henny Youngman
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Alcohol use by young people is dangerous, not only because of the risks associated with acute impairment, but also because of the threat to their long-term development and well-being.Institute of Medicine
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Traffic crashes are perhaps the most visible of these dangers, with alcohol being implicated in nearly one-third of youth traffic fatalities.Institute of Medicine
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Underage alcohol use is also associated with violence, suicide, educational failure, and other problem behaviors.Institute of Medicine
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What every drunk needs is to get more blood into his alcohol.Evan Esar
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Drink should be given to stream the man who is given to drink.Evan Esar
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The difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is that the drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings.Arthur Lewis
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Among young people. Drinking is for getting drunk. And many go on to become alcoholics.Billy Graham
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Drunkenness is not a new vice, Its ravages have always been a scourge on the human race.Billy Graham
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Thousands are killed and injured every year by teenagers driving too fast or under the influence of drugs and drink.Billy Graham
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Do not seek solace in alcohol. Alcohol obscures good judgement and leaves you unable to think clearly.Billy Graham
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It is useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office.Shirley MacLaine
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What began as an apparently harmless pastime has ended up as a frightening, overpowering addiction or obsession.Billy Graham
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Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment with it.Hannah More
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Children cry and adults drink.Joseph Julius Bonkowski
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Sobriety, I'll drink to that.Joseph Julius Bonkowski
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When gin turns to sin, you will need bail for jail.Joseph Julius Bonkowski
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Friendship in a bar won't go very far.Joseph Julius Bonkowski
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Beer in and belly out.Joseph Julius Bonkowski
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Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.
Gilbert K. Chesterton
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Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.Winston Churchill
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My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and, if need be, during all meals and in the intervals between them.Winston Churchill
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The water was not fit toi drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whisky. By diligent effort, I learnt to like it.Winston Churchill
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I have a theory that the secret of marital happiness is simple: drink in different pubs to your other half.Jilly Cooper
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Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient for beer.Dave Barry
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Without a question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.Dave Barry
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I never turned to drink; it seemed to turn to me.Brendan Behan
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Alcohol is the most commonly abused drug.Charles Agyin-Asare
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Alcoholism is that burning desire like being addicted to nicotine.Charles Agyin-Asare
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Alcohol is made very tempting by the powerful advertising and media hype. These are tools used for recruiting novices and sustaining the habits in veterans.Charles Agyin-Asare
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Others also use alcohol/drugs to fill the emptiness they feel inside or to get 'high'.Charles Agyin-Asare
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Alcohol is what is served at most functions, weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, traditional festivities, sporting events.Charles Agyin-Asare
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Alcohol is a simple chemical, but its effects on the body are extraordinarily complex and highly individual.Katherine Ketcham
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The stronger a drink is--that is, the more alcohol it contains--the greater the amount of alcohol that will get into your bloodstream.Katherine Ketcham
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Alcohol is a legal drug and therefore afforded special status.Katherine Ketcham
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Alcohol isn't really a drug, the thinking goes, because it won't hurt you unless you overindulge.Katherine Ketcham
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Alcohol can cause or mask emotional problems, such as anxiety or depression.Fred F. Ferri
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The younger people are when they start drinking, the more likely they'll have an alcohol problem. Drinking can also increase the risk of using other drugs.Fred F. Ferri
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Teens use alcohol because they're curious and want to feel good, lower stress, fit in, and feel older. Some teens have trouble managing impluses, emotions, and thrill-seeking behaviors.Fred F. Ferri
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Alcohol is a depressant, meaning it slows down the brain. Teens can feel more relaxed or less anxious, but they may also stagger, lose coordination, slur speech, and be confused and disoriented.Fred F. Ferri
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The oldest and most widely used drug in the world, alcohol is also the drug most frequently used by teens.Joseph A. Califano
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Alcohol is a liquid that people drink. Adolescents who want to get drunk will often drink 'shots,' which are small glasses of straight liquor, because the body absorbs the alcohol much faster that way.Joseph A. Califano
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Signs of teenage drinking include the smell of alcohol on your child's breath, slurred speech, lack of coordination, nausea, vomiting, and hangovers.Joseph A. Califano
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Teenage drinking can physically damage the developing brains of teenagers in ways that impair learning, memory, abstract thinking, problem solving, and perceptual-motor skills.Joseph A. Califano
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Alcohol can cause many types of accidents. It may also at times lead to violent behavior or contribute to the risk of suicide.Griffith Edwards
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Alcohol is also a drug addiction - a fact which multiplies the significance of its inherently negative potential.Griffith Edwards
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Alcohol is a stupid molecule which is clever in its ability to play mood music on complex brain systems, but it is an addictive drug with a far from innocent profile.Griffith Edwards
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Alcohol is fun, the wine of the Eucharist, a profitable and taxable commodity, but a drug among drugs and highly ambiguous in its costs and benefits.Griffith Edwards
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Ever since humans began to consume alcohol, they have had a difficult relationship with it. Rod Phillips
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Alcohol has historically played a role at marriages and funerals, and it has commonly marked commercial, political, and other events.Rod Phillips
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Alcohol helps people relax and sometimes to forget their cares.Rod Phillips