The Easter Bunny ate all of the carrots we left for him. What a pig. Steve Carell

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My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. Amy Sedaris

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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs. Adam Ferrara

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Easter is not a passport to another world; it is a quality of perception for this one. W.P. Lemon

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Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. Marvin Olasky

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That first Easter must have been awkward, because you know the apostles had already divided up Jesus' stuff. William Ader

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Happy Easter everyone! Jesus dies, comes back from the dead — and we get chocolate eggs. It's like turn-down service from God. Dennis Leary

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Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham. Garrison Keillor

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I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had 3 eggs... but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs. Caroline Rhea

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Most people outside of America won't get it. It's the Easter bunny. It's another lie and I don't understand why we had to invent this character. Todd Rundgren

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Easter has been cancelled - they found the body. Jim Butcher

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There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate. Linda Grayson

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If you believe in the Easter Bunny, it means you believe in a fat, purple bunny, which is pooping multi-color eggs in your garden. Alex Antunes

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In your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it, you'll be the grandest lady in the Easter parade. Irving Berlin

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All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt! Lucy Van Pelt

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Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter. Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Christmas. Jack Handy

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Unfortunately there is nothing more inane than an Easter carol. It is a religious perversion of the activity of Spring in our blood. Wallace Stevens

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Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. Clarence W. Hall

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If this is an Easter egg, then you must be the Easter Bunny. Romeo Muller

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I'm waiting for the Easter Wabbit. When he comes in looking so fluffy and cute with his wittle basket of Easter eggs... BANG! Easter Wabbit stew. Warren Foster

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The last time was Easter morning. The church bells were ringing. Maurice Maeterlinck

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I said a prayer that the Easter Bunny gets all his work done. Joseph C. Cavella

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Rabbits are important. What about Easter time? Whenever you think of Easter, you think of the Easter bunny. Yoram Gross

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I always felt Batman was best suited to the role of gritty urban crime detective, but now you guys have got him up against Santas, and Easter bunnies? I'm sorry, but that's not my Batman! Paul Dini

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No presents for Christmas? That's like Easter without high-stakes poker. Steven Levitan

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You're like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny combined - just as charming, and just as fake. Daniel Wallace

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Christmas and Easter bring wonderful treasures, but spirits and pumpkins bring far greater pleasures. George Tibbles

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You'll just fall asleep and then you'll see Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Thom Eberhardt

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Every day's a rebirth. Every day is Easter. Just remember to color your eggs happy colors, like yellow and baby blue. Mark Ellinger

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Fun fact. Each year my mom has Easter tea with her friend named Bunny. Okay not that fun. Carter Bays

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We have Christmas and Thanksgiving, and Easter, although we're not exactly sure we celebrate them on the right days. Henry De Vere Stacpoole

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We are fighting for God's green earth and daytime and Christmas and Easter eggs and all that's sacred and good. Alan Ball

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Easter. The joy of candy, colors, creativity and costuming. A season unlike any other. Grant Morrison

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I believe in Santa Claus. I believe in the Easter Bunny. I believe in the Tooth Fairy. But I don't believe in you. This is battery acid. Now, you disappear! Stephen King

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Here comes Peter Cottontail / Hopping down the bunny trail / Hippity hopping, Easter's on its way Jack Rollins

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Bringing every girl and boy / Baskets full of Easter joy / Things to make your Easter bright and gay Jack Rollins

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Try to do the things you should / Maybe if you're extra good / He'll roll lots of Easter eggs your way Jack Rollins

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You'll wake up on Easter morning / And you'll know that he was there / When you find those chocolate bunnies / That he's hiding everywhere Jack Rollins

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Things will lighten up the sky / East At Easter / We'll go walking hand in hand / Cause all across the land it will be East At Easter Charles Burchill

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I'll be all in clover / And when they look you over / I'll be the proudest fella / In the Easter parade! Irving Berlin

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In your Easter bonnet / With all the frills upon it / You'll be the grandest lady / In the Easter parade! Irving Berlin

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March me down to the seven seas / Bury me with a ruby ring / Kiss me baby on an Easter Sunday day / Make my haze blow away / I said blow away The Black Crowes

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I find a place I started from / The wild is calling, this time I follow / Easter parade Paul Gnerard Buchana

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Throwing hats up in the air / A city perfect in every detail / Easter parade Paul Gnerard Buchana

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Radio across the morning air / A crowd of people everywhere / And then the people, all running forward / Easter parade Paul Gnerard Buchana

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You're the spirit of Christmas, my star on the tree / You're the Easter Bunny to Mummy and me Edward Madden

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Christmas and Easter can be subjects for poetry, but Good Friday, like Auschwitz, cannot. The reality is so horrible it is not surprising that people should have found it a stumbling block to faith. W.H. Auden

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Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. Pope John Paul II (Karol Wojtyła)

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Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all your eggs in one basket. Evan Esar

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Too many women think Easter Sunday is Decoration Day. Evan Esar

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There are always some churchgoers whom the preacher doesn't remember from one Easter to the next. Evan Esar

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After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, a young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly colored one. Jim Kraus

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Easter is not the celebration of the cost of sin, but of its end. Gene Skaggs Jr.

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Easter is the celebration of out release and celebration from the crucifixion/ego thoughts to our acceptance of the resurrection/Holy Spirit's thoughts. Gene Skaggs Jr.

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Easter is a sign of peace and forgiveness for Jesus, as well as all our brothers and sisters. Gene Skaggs Jr.

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Easter is the symbol of releasing our grievances towards others, as well as ourselves. Gene Skaggs Jr.

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Preparing for Easter is a concise, handy companion for the faithful of all Christian traditions and the curious to help them deepen their knowledge and consideration of this holy season. C. S. Lewis

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Easter is seen as a time of spiritual preparation for the day we later celebrate and welcome the 'grand miracle' Christ accomplish through the cross. C. S. Lewis

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