Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old funny hair quotes, funny hair sayings, and funny hair proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.
Men's fame is like their hair, which grows after they are dead, and with just as little use to them.George Villiers
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I'm a big woman. I need big hair.Aretha Franklin
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I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.Hillary Rodham Clinton
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I've discovered that how I look is not a function of anything as ephemeral as my hair.Judith Light
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Men don't get smarter as they grow older, they just lose their hair.Mary Astor
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What a curious way to do your hair— or, rather, not to do it.Marlene Dietrich
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I'm losing my hair where I want hair, and getting hair where I don't.Billy Crystal
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I'm fine, but you're obviously having a bad hair day.Kristy Samson
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I've had hangovers before, but this time even my hair hurts.Rock Hudson
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If you want to get ahead in business, you've got to have serious hair.Melanie Griffith
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My blackness has never been in my hair. Blackness is not a hairstyle.Bertha Gilkey
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You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.Elayne Boosler
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The tenderest spot in a man's makeup is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.Helen Rowland
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My real hair color is kind of a dark blonde. Now I just have mood hair.Julia Roberts
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I'm not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.Dolly Parton
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I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.Janette Barber
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Oh, who is that young sinner with the handcuffs on his wrists? / And what has he been after that they groan and shake his fists? / And wherefore is he wearing such a conscience-stricken air? / Oh, they're taking him to prison for the colour of his hair.A.E. Housman
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You look like you comb your hair with an eggbeater.Lawrence Dorfman
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I got my hair highlighted because I felt that some strands were more important than others.Mitch Hedberg
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A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.Steve Martin
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I read somewhere that hair grows until you reach 40, then it goes in the opposite direction, into the head, and out the ears, nose and other odd places.Tim Allen
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.Tommy Cooper
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Even geniuses can get things wrong. Look at Einstein’s unfortunate choice of a hairdresser.Joss Stirling
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Naturally curly hair is a curse, and don't ever let anyone tell you different.Mary Ann Shaffer
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Her hair was a glory of tendrils for the snaring of husbands.Michael Chabon
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If my hair gets any frizzier, I'll shave it to the scalp. Or light it on fire. Whichever is easier.Victoria Scott
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My toes are a total wreck, my fingernails worse, and god knows my hair could use a registered nurse.Jack Bunbury